I don’t know about you. But I love weddings. I love everything about them. The smells, the lights, the colors, and the love. When I saw The Wedding Planner for the first time I thought that would be the PERFECT job for me. (And maybe it still is!) I wanted to start this series of posts as I prepare for my upcoming wedding.
This first post is a little unconventional, though.
You see… I don’t have a ring on my finger.
I’m not crazy. I really am getting married! We’re picking the venues, families are flying out, we have the date, and I even have the dress. But I don’t have a ring on my finger. And does it bother me? Most of the time, no.
But there are days when it does.
I’ve taken some time to reflect on why this is. Every time I feel upset or doubt my nuptial future… it’s after I’ve had a friend or family member or question me on my relationship. Questions like: “Is something wrong?”, “What’s holding him back?”,”This is setting the tone for your future marriage. Isn’t it awful that he doesn’t value you enough to make this a special time? Instead, he’s dragging his feet while you’re under stress all the time.”, “Are you guys having doubts?”, “What the heck is his problem?”.
These really can get under your skin if you dwell on them. ( I think you can see why for obvious reasons!) So how can you tell if you’re engaged? Well… being engaged is a choice.
The first clue is that you’re making concrete plans. NOT hypothetical, like “Wouldn’t a fall wedding be nice?”. But things like, “Ok, I called the caterer and we have the menu for the reception.”
But apart from that, the real way to tell is how YOU feel. An engagement is simply a pledge or agreement to be married.
After only a month of dating, we did something that defined our relationship. We vowed to choose to love and cherish each other, and wholeheartedly invest in each other every day. I realize now that the reason I’ve never questioned our commitment to each other and our plans to be married is that we made our decision already. And then we started making plans. It all flowed naturally.
It’s not how it happens for everyone. But it’s how it happened for us.
So I’m engaged. We made our choice to get married. And… I don’t need to PROVE I’m engaged to anyone. An engagement is personal and doesn’t need to be argued.
Now…will my current status (aka my ringless finger) diminish the experience when he kneels on one knee and puts that ring on my finger? Not at all. It will still be beautiful and incredible, and I look forward to that moment with all my heart. I know it will be one I remember forever. But it doesn’t change the fact that I am engaged. And very much in love.
What are your thoughts? Besides the ring on your finger, how did you know you were engaged? Share in the comments below!